"Do your part to save the planet, eat beef"
As we all have been made well aware, one of the biggest threats the world currently faces is the risk of global climate change resulting from a .5% increase in the carbon dioxide content of the atmosphere. With so much at stake for the future of the planet, Fortscribe has decided to take the initiative in accessing what lifestyle changes we ourselves can take to prevent global catastrophe.
One of the early lessons in eco-awareness is that as we destroy natural carbon sinks like the amazon rain forests we are in effect releasing more carbon dioxide into the air. This got us here at Fortscribe thinking, what can we do to increase carbon retention?
For a long time we have heard the liberal perspective on things. We must decrease our carbon footprint through policies that limit population growth, decrease "suburban sprawl" and limit the over-consumptive nature of the general public.
As liberals have the uncanny ability to always be wrong, we looked for truth in doing the opposite of what they propose. Then it occurred to us. Aren't fat Americans an excellent carbon sink? I mean, just how much carbon does a 300 pound American sequester in his belly and thereby prevent global climate change.
Well we ran the sciencey figures (which are kindly offered to you below for your perusal) and arrived at the estimate that for every 50lbs of fat a person stores they store about 39 lbs of carbon which is also equivalent to 611L of carbon dioxide at STP. (Standard temperature and pressure.)
611 liters of carbon dioxide for every 50 pounds of fat!
Imagine how much we can save the environment if we all weighed an extra 200 pounds. That would be like saving 2000 liters of carbon dioxide. The problem however, is that not everyone is doing their part to save the environment.
While its much publicized that the rest of the world despises us as fat ignorant yanks because of the disdain we had for the Kyoto treaty. The truth is we are not the only group to blame. Consider certain countries in Western Europe for example. Yes, I know the Europeans are highly enlightened individuals who have learned to be environmentally savvy in minimizing their carbon footprint. Meritorious are their efforts to avoid needless hot water usage through the abolition of bathing. Splendid is their disruption of miles of the marine habitat with windfarms. With such great achievements in their war against climate change, I find it reprehensible that they still have yet to adopt policies to better engage their population in carbon sequestration.
While the average American is fighting global warming with their lives as they die to heart disease and other consequences of obesity, selfish Europeans cling to life and its wasteful expenditures of energy. True, nationalized health care is starting to shorten European life expectancy by weeding out those with genetic impurities or acute emergencies, but I can't help but feel like Europe could do more in the face of global crisis.
Fortscribe is made up of reasonable people. We don't expect Europe to change its irresponsible ways over night. We suggest that Europe continue to use the social engineering policies that they are most familiar with. A tax should be levied on all citizens consuming less than 4000 calories. For every mile somebody runs for leisure, they should be taxed at least 5 Euros. Fanatics who insist on evading the tax should be locked up and feed lard until their livers make a new alternative to foie gras to feed other more responsible citizens.