D&D FAQ for Version 2.008:
A Fortscribe Original
To celebrate our historic new president, the makers of D&D, the famous cult classic game, have decided to scrap their current plans for rulebook 4.0 and create a new version which will start at 2.008. This version will take a fresh look at D&D fundamentals and modernize them to incorporate new lore, rules and class changes. The developers feel these changes are necessary to relate to today's youth and make D&D a more balanced game.
Some highlights are listed below:
1) The game god AO, also known as the all-father will now be replaced with the great Obamessiah. Worship of the new all-father will still be considered mostly pointless, as he seldom listens to the trivial concerns of his followers.
While low level followers will receive no benefit from worshiping Obamessiah, higher level (15) clerics will benefit from automatic acquisition of the spells misdirection, mind-wipe, dominate will and charm other (humanoid). Militant followers of Obamessiah also automatically gain proficiency with his favored weapons, the hammer and sickle.
2) Gender options will now be more inclusive with a more diverse set of options. A new third gender known as "Hijra" as well as a transgender option will be available. Furthermore, new background traits like "grew up with a gender-identity disorder," "alternative sexual preferences" and "transvestite" expand the ways players can relate to their characters. In game romance plots have been updated to allow for these possibilities.
3) Alignments have been changed from good and evil to liberal and conservative. Alignment restrictions still apply as before. Acquiring substantial wealth will prevent a character from being classified as liberal unless he donates 90% of his gold to the Temple of Obamessiah for his blessing.
4) It was felt that many of the races in the game could be misconstrued as racist. For example, previously evil factions like the "dark-elves" suggest that those with black skin are evil. Since we have already altered alignment names to be liberal and conservative, we have forgone changing the pigment colors in our models. Rather, a simple name change will suffice and "Dark-Elves" will henceforth be known as Afristocrats.
These duplicitous individuals are lead by Queen Condi and King Cosby. While in appearance they are similar to the great Obamesiah, they have fallen from grace and their perverted doctrine is an affront to all of the citizens of the astral planes. Adventurers looking to redistribute stolen wealth may venture into the Underdark and confront these treacherous creatures.
5) Players may now upgrade an in-game society to spend their residual income. Those familiar with NWN2 will recognize the system of donating your wealth to upgrade a city for the benefit of the government.
6) While combat is a staple of classic D&D, we really feel that more can be done with the diplomacy feature. Players choosing to play characters with high charisma and diplomacy will enjoy substantial content.
More information pertaining to Rulebook 2.008 should become available as we take the time to actually read more of these extensive updates. The new guide is currently expected to contain ~2000 pages, most dealing with fairness in loot drops.